We make choices everyday of our lives. Sometimes they are easy, like what shoes to wear (ok, maybe for some of us that is difficult!), but others wrench at our hearts and play with our minds. We go back and forth with what is best. Eventually we know we have to make a decision…or that by not deciding, one will eventually be made for us.
Today was one of those days for me. Since returning from my year-long global giving adventure, 34tunate, during with I performed 34 acts of service around the world in my “Thirtyfourtunate” year of life, I have been spreading a message of living a powerful life and staying true to yourself. I champion people who “follow their inner arrow” and tell people “life is not about stuff!” However, today, I found myself on the verge of making a decision that did not ring true to what I was encouraging others to do.
You see, today, I was offered a full-time, benefited J-O-B!
I am a talker and I called anyone who would listen to get their opinion on the situation. I hemmed and hawed about the “right” thing to do, but in reality, there was no right and wrong. I was not contemplating committing a crime or hurting another being in anyway. I was contemplating whether or not to take a job. My big issue was that it seemed like it was “such a good opportunity” and I was afraid of missing out.
However, when I really sat down, and listened to inner self, I realized that this opportunity, as great as it seemed, did not align with any of my true goals and visions. It was a “safe” road, but to a completely different destination.
When I thought about accepting the offer, I felt almost ill and started to cry. It was only in these silent moments with myself that I realized what I feared more than seizing the opportunity, was turning my back on everything I had been working toward for the last 3 years. Sure, right now the road is hard and I am blazing the trail solo, but my tears were evidence that I was more afraid of giving up than I was of sticking with it!
Later in the afternoon, the phone next to me started ringing. As I looked at the caller ID, my heart sank. It was the recruiter. Moment of truth…but I already knew what I would do. I politely answered the phone and the girl on the other end’s excitement seemed to almost physically leap into my ear. She began to congratulate me and wanted to hear from me what I thought of the offer. I politely told her about how honored I was to be the top candidate, but that I felt it only right for the company to hire someone who could give them 110%, someone whose dream would be to have this very opportunity, but that, unfortunately, that someone was not me.
Silence. On the other end there was only silence. I wondered for a moment if we had gotten disconnected. As she began to speak, however, I realized that she had been speechless, unable to respond to my declining the position.
I wanted to continue to justify my reasoning, but I knew it would be wasted. You see, what I realized today is that not every opportunity, even seemingly good ones, is the right opportunity.
Follow your arrow!